“A crowd is only impressed by excessive sentiments. Exaggerate, affirm, resort to repetition, and never attempt to prove anything by reasoning.”
― Jon Ronson, So You've Been Publicly Shamed
Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy’s recent tweets have been viciously dissected and intensely debated in hundreds of conversations – offline and online. For those who might still be clueless about what happened, her sister went to the ER, where she was seen to by a doctor, who later sent her a Facebook friend request. Chinoy took to social media, called it harassment and threatened to report him to the hospital’s management. Supposedly, he was fired from his job after this. Without fact checking or verifying any information, the public went into a frenzy condemning her, rallying for him, condemning him, rallying for her, all the while calling each other out. It was an all-out war zone, in digital terms.
Not long ago, pictures of Mahira Khan, wearing a white summer dress that showed some skin, smoking a cigarette and hanging out with Ranbir Kapoor, were splashed across the internet. The public did not disappoint then either. The gloves came off and the claws came out. Tongues wagged in harmony, questioning her morals, her religion, calling her all sorts of names; some even went to the extent of labelling her an Indian agent.
Read: Trolling – Pakistan's national pastime
And then there is the nation’s favourite de facto punching bag – Malala Yousafzai, who was shot by the Taliban. After recovering she has become an influential public speaker who works for women’s education and other social causes. When the nation has no one else to hate, they satisfy their vengeful cravings by rubbing their hands together in glee, and turning to her with venom. After all, we love to hate women who are young and successful.
Read: Is social media triggering reverse evolution?
The democratisation of social media and finding and using our voice is still a relatively new phenomenon in Pakistan. We write first and think later (if we think at all); we ‘like’ without reading; ‘share’ without understanding; and ‘comment’ without investigating. In trying to keep up with the speed of the digital world, we do not allow ourselves to think about how our actions or words can impact others in ways that can be extremely damaging to them.
Let’s face it; we are a judgmental nation, and that characteristic is not limited to any social class or demographic. You and I have both judged people for what they eat, how they dress, or who they support. We don’t stop to ask questions or hear different perspectives.
In the case of Chinoy’s tweets, a lot of debate and name-calling began before any facts were shared or verified. People concocted their own versions of the story to push their opinions. Her qualifications and credentials as a documentary filmmaker were questioned, as were her ethics. Factually incorrect articles were dug up from the deepest depths of the internet to malign her. All her life’s work was pitted against her tweets to this incident. She was cornered.
As for the doctor, yes, what he did was unethical and unprofessional, but perhaps he was a new doctor still under training. Was he enamoured by the fact that he was treating Chinoy’s sister? Did he send repeated requests? The answers to these questions will not absolve him, but will only make us look at the situation in a more humane way. My point is, let’s wait for facts before we jump into the swamp.
We cannot be the judge, the jury and the executioners. If we do that, then we are no different from the mob that kills on instinct, or the bystander who enjoys a public execution.
We need to speak out on social issues and we cannot afford to be silent, but where systems and protocols exist, we need to let them play out. We need to exercise patience and responsible behaviour. We cannot be the judge, the jury and the executioners. If we do that, then we are no different from the mob that kills on instinct, or the bystander who enjoys a public execution. Bringing someone down should not be a source of entertainment and we should remember that exercising restraint does not mean silencing ourselves or not voicing our opinions. It means being respectful and not jumping to conclusions.
I’d like to end end with another quote by Jon Ronson from his book So You've Been Publicly Shamed – please read it if you haven’t already: “The great thing about social media was how it gave a voice to voiceless people. Let's not turn it into a world where the smartest way to survive is to go back to being voiceless.”
Sheherzad Kaleem is a documentary filmmaker based in Dubai. sheherzadk@gmail.com
Comments (34) Closed
It's the law of unintended consequences that catapulted Malala to stardom.
I am happy, but not happy. Malala suffered a lot at individual level ....but what are her contributions? She left Pakistan. She is working for Pakistan's enemies (knowingly or unknowingly, hardly matters). Everything and anything that directly or indirectly, overtly or covertly, defames Pakistan is bound to earn laurels, acclaim, and applause. My thoughts though; apologies in advance.
Be it climbing Everest or getting an academy award or standing up to Taliban and getting shot and surviving, plus getting Nobel prize or being internationally being recognized is science. Women from Pakistan have out shone in everything in the International arena. Not to name authors, writers, human rights activist to Political leaders.
But this brings out a part of male superiority in our culture to be hollow in the minds of its owners. So one should not bevsurprised to see continued hostility towards famous women in Pakistan.
This also opens up a question to general education standards in Pakistan and the cultural aspects that brings such hostility in men, as women will keep shining in more and more avenues in life in future as well.
I really liked the expression "where systems and protocols exist, we need to let them play out", please let me know is there any system in Pakistan?. We have carnaged it with our very own hands. I don't see any system in Pakistan but a lot of playing out.
Pakistanis are loving people not haters. If they express hate on media there is obviously a reason.
The problem with this author is he thinks he is holier than those millions of people who gave their opinion on this rather discreditable woman's account of the story. He thinks is qualified to give advice. He himself hasn't given any facts. I am not sure what his educational background is? Being a film-maker doesn't make you erudite, cultured, or principled. It might make you well-known but not necessarily in a good way. One can be patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.
The beauty of Social media is that no matter how righteous you may think your opinions are, the other persons opinions will also appears along side. Just because more people clicked or read your message does not make it correct or incorrect. You cannot win an argument because its a mud slinging arena with a free for all atmosphere. There will be blood!
So all you so called MFCs (more frequently clicked), SMHs social media thugs, tread carefully and if you give it out, also learn to take it in. See how meek you are in real life situations. You came to social media to get noticed, by your own choice fully aware that there ore millions of others just like you with an opinion, ten fingers and a keyboard to play with.
The question is not 'Why do Pakistanis live to hate?' but rather, 'Why do Pakistanis love to hate women?'
Talk about AQ Khan. No doubt he is a hero of some distinction of all. Talk about Abdus Salam he hardly jogs many's recollections and the community he belonged to is the bane of all Pakistanis.
@Amir She has inspired many young Pakistani girls for continuing studies, her name has become an icon for Pakistan. She always talks in favor of Pakistan, imagine the day all the Pakistani females will be literate & they will be handle their families much better than existing one.
All these three women basically defamed Pakistan rather than putting a good name for it. Selfish to the core. Be it Malala who somehow miraculously rose to a level none can dream of. she suffered, but people have suffered more, she was picked out or shown the "other way". She lives studies works abroad who cares! Pakistani for namesake is not enough at the level this Nobel laureate has risen to. Pakistan needs her. Not the west. Sharmeen's movies are the eye opener but screening them and getting awards that Pakistan is such an ignorant and savage country is a disservice. Congrats on your awards but you are not practically doing anything to save this country who needs celebrities like you. Perhaps make an NGO for women rights and then fight their case. So people disliking her is their natural reaction. After Veena Malik and Humaima Malik, anything goes. She can go do whatever she likes for her job/showbiz in which taking off clothes are absolutely necessary but please don't teach the women about morality that will be hypocrisy. And Pakistan is full of them. Don't add to that number.
@Changez Khan dude, you are in state of denial.. open your eyes
@Nida Kirmani it is not about women only.. we tend to hate everyone. including dead too..
That's ugly judgement by the writer. There are so many women personalities loved by this nation.
@Changez Khan Well said
@salman This is known a unproductive criticism. You have neither reasoned why you disagree with him nor have you given any practical advise. You have just tried to insult the person. Most respectfully, it hows frustration, not sound thinking.
Writer lives under a rock. Not just Pakistanis but everyone in the world has an opinion (even very crass ones) these days which is on display on the internet. And it's not just a few specific women who get the hate, every segment of society falls to this. But the author clearly has biased views. Self hater.
I am sure ppl that reads dawn , dont go on bashing frenzy on social media
@Amir "She is working for Pakistan's enemies (knowingly or unknowingly, hardly matters). "
Malala Yousafzai has spoken out in favor of girls and women's education and human rights. Obviously, she must be working for Pakistan's enemies.
it is easy to criticize and hard to appreciate...........
We love our true heroes like Quaid e Azam, Liaqat Ali Khan, M. M. Alam, Edhi and the list goes on but we hate foreign sponsorships.
Malala and Sharmeen are famous because Pakistan got negative publicity due to their actions. Compare them with Nazia Hassan, for example. No one can hate Nazia Hassan (may she rest in peace). So, Pakistanis don't love to hate.
Why cant the national journalist write about our real issues then this stupid issue? Complete waste of time....
I watched an interview of Sharmeen where she admitted to use female card when it's needed and she said she likes to intimidate men. double standards and hypocrisy.
Writers such as these just to get a single article published would blabber almost anything.. An exampl3
We are best at judging everyone , Facts and figures doesn't matter to an individual who doesn't believe in rationality of ideas .
The writer has tried to wrongly generalize the three cases and put them in one basket. While Mahira and Malala were wrongly criticized for what they do in their private lives, Sharmeen Obaid herself tried to seek the spotlight by coming on social media to spread negativity against the doctor. The hate spewed against Malala's clothing and Mahira's presence with Ranbir Kapoor was wrong. But Sharmeen Chinoy thought she could generate disliking for the doctor by posting the situation instead of getting it resolved with the hospital. However people understood this and criticized her back fot seeking the spotlight instead of solving the issue with the hospitable management amicably.
Everyone would have loved Sharmeen if she had done something REAL like making safe homes for those women whose faces were deformed as a result of acid etc. But is she interested in anything else then getting an oscar for herself? i guess not. Pakistanis love Eidhi sahab and one should ask why Sharmeen is not loved. I hope we all know the answer!!
The question is, how to know who is right and who is wrong? Why is it so convenient to label Pakistan as a women hater society - where ladies like Fatima Jinnah, Bano Qudsia, Haseena Moeen, Fatima Surayya Bajiya, Noorul Huda Shah, BB, Aafia Siddiqui, Arfa Karim... and the list gows on, are not only respected but loved as pride of the nation. My question is, why isn't there any controversy surrounding Arfa Karim and why the Malala' case, from the very first day was shrouded with mystery? I ask writer, is this generalisation any different than the opinion of rest of the lot, that the writer has apparently suggested to be judgemental - jumping to conclusions. Isn't it also a reactionary approach?
What is Malala services to Pakistan - NIL, she is now collobrating with Pakistani enemy, and she is debt to Pakistan, her father job created in Pak consulate, housing allowance, medical, and now Oxford education these all are on Pakistani expenses. S.Obaid is just working for her film, she unnecessary given her pretage on twit and get terminated Dr job, Mahir is actor, her charactor is to work in film no benefit for Pakistan poor nation, Dawn should not give importancy these matter.
Over-generalization much in this article on what all Pakistanis do?
@champ you are a woman hater/ So Chinoy should not bring out the reality of the savagery that goes on in Pakistan? For the supposed 'honor' of people like you - she should not tell the truth? Realy? I feel she is the best thing that happened to Pakistan to challenge the low level thinking of the males in your country- you being a shining example of the same.
it's true, it's true. All those mentioned are evil!
A nation with so much potential and untapped talent is wasting time and energy on uncontrollable issues - personal choices. Step away and focus on yourself and what you can be and what you can do.
@Sana see video interview of the woman who played title role in sharmeen's first documentary movie on acid attack on girls. Your perspective may change.
Comments (34) Closed
It's the law of unintended consequences that catapulted Malala to stardom.
I am happy, but not happy. Malala suffered a lot at individual level ....but what are her contributions? She left Pakistan. She is working for Pakistan's enemies (knowingly or unknowingly, hardly matters). Everything and anything that directly or indirectly, overtly or covertly, defames Pakistan is bound to earn laurels, acclaim, and applause. My thoughts though; apologies in advance.
Be it climbing Everest or getting an academy award or standing up to Taliban and getting shot and surviving, plus getting Nobel prize or being internationally being recognized is science. Women from Pakistan have out shone in everything in the International arena. Not to name authors, writers, human rights activist to Political leaders.
But this brings out a part of male superiority in our culture to be hollow in the minds of its owners. So one should not bevsurprised to see continued hostility towards famous women in Pakistan.
This also opens up a question to general education standards in Pakistan and the cultural aspects that brings such hostility in men, as women will keep shining in more and more avenues in life in future as well.
I really liked the expression "where systems and protocols exist, we need to let them play out", please let me know is there any system in Pakistan?. We have carnaged it with our very own hands. I don't see any system in Pakistan but a lot of playing out.
Pakistanis are loving people not haters. If they express hate on media there is obviously a reason.
The problem with this author is he thinks he is holier than those millions of people who gave their opinion on this rather discreditable woman's account of the story. He thinks is qualified to give advice. He himself hasn't given any facts. I am not sure what his educational background is? Being a film-maker doesn't make you erudite, cultured, or principled. It might make you well-known but not necessarily in a good way. One can be patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.
The beauty of Social media is that no matter how righteous you may think your opinions are, the other persons opinions will also appears along side. Just because more people clicked or read your message does not make it correct or incorrect. You cannot win an argument because its a mud slinging arena with a free for all atmosphere. There will be blood!
So all you so called MFCs (more frequently clicked), SMHs social media thugs, tread carefully and if you give it out, also learn to take it in. See how meek you are in real life situations. You came to social media to get noticed, by your own choice fully aware that there ore millions of others just like you with an opinion, ten fingers and a keyboard to play with.
The question is not 'Why do Pakistanis live to hate?' but rather, 'Why do Pakistanis love to hate women?'
Talk about AQ Khan. No doubt he is a hero of some distinction of all. Talk about Abdus Salam he hardly jogs many's recollections and the community he belonged to is the bane of all Pakistanis.
@Amir She has inspired many young Pakistani girls for continuing studies, her name has become an icon for Pakistan. She always talks in favor of Pakistan, imagine the day all the Pakistani females will be literate & they will be handle their families much better than existing one.
All these three women basically defamed Pakistan rather than putting a good name for it. Selfish to the core. Be it Malala who somehow miraculously rose to a level none can dream of. she suffered, but people have suffered more, she was picked out or shown the "other way". She lives studies works abroad who cares! Pakistani for namesake is not enough at the level this Nobel laureate has risen to. Pakistan needs her. Not the west. Sharmeen's movies are the eye opener but screening them and getting awards that Pakistan is such an ignorant and savage country is a disservice. Congrats on your awards but you are not practically doing anything to save this country who needs celebrities like you. Perhaps make an NGO for women rights and then fight their case. So people disliking her is their natural reaction. After Veena Malik and Humaima Malik, anything goes. She can go do whatever she likes for her job/showbiz in which taking off clothes are absolutely necessary but please don't teach the women about morality that will be hypocrisy. And Pakistan is full of them. Don't add to that number.
@Changez Khan dude, you are in state of denial.. open your eyes
@Nida Kirmani it is not about women only.. we tend to hate everyone. including dead too..
That's ugly judgement by the writer. There are so many women personalities loved by this nation.
@Changez Khan Well said
@salman This is known a unproductive criticism. You have neither reasoned why you disagree with him nor have you given any practical advise. You have just tried to insult the person. Most respectfully, it hows frustration, not sound thinking.
Writer lives under a rock. Not just Pakistanis but everyone in the world has an opinion (even very crass ones) these days which is on display on the internet. And it's not just a few specific women who get the hate, every segment of society falls to this. But the author clearly has biased views. Self hater.
I am sure ppl that reads dawn , dont go on bashing frenzy on social media
@Amir "She is working for Pakistan's enemies (knowingly or unknowingly, hardly matters). "
Malala Yousafzai has spoken out in favor of girls and women's education and human rights. Obviously, she must be working for Pakistan's enemies.
it is easy to criticize and hard to appreciate...........
We love our true heroes like Quaid e Azam, Liaqat Ali Khan, M. M. Alam, Edhi and the list goes on but we hate foreign sponsorships.
Malala and Sharmeen are famous because Pakistan got negative publicity due to their actions. Compare them with Nazia Hassan, for example. No one can hate Nazia Hassan (may she rest in peace). So, Pakistanis don't love to hate.
Why cant the national journalist write about our real issues then this stupid issue? Complete waste of time....
I watched an interview of Sharmeen where she admitted to use female card when it's needed and she said she likes to intimidate men. double standards and hypocrisy.
Writers such as these just to get a single article published would blabber almost anything.. An exampl3
We are best at judging everyone , Facts and figures doesn't matter to an individual who doesn't believe in rationality of ideas .
The writer has tried to wrongly generalize the three cases and put them in one basket. While Mahira and Malala were wrongly criticized for what they do in their private lives, Sharmeen Obaid herself tried to seek the spotlight by coming on social media to spread negativity against the doctor. The hate spewed against Malala's clothing and Mahira's presence with Ranbir Kapoor was wrong. But Sharmeen Chinoy thought she could generate disliking for the doctor by posting the situation instead of getting it resolved with the hospital. However people understood this and criticized her back fot seeking the spotlight instead of solving the issue with the hospitable management amicably.
Everyone would have loved Sharmeen if she had done something REAL like making safe homes for those women whose faces were deformed as a result of acid etc. But is she interested in anything else then getting an oscar for herself? i guess not. Pakistanis love Eidhi sahab and one should ask why Sharmeen is not loved. I hope we all know the answer!!
The question is, how to know who is right and who is wrong? Why is it so convenient to label Pakistan as a women hater society - where ladies like Fatima Jinnah, Bano Qudsia, Haseena Moeen, Fatima Surayya Bajiya, Noorul Huda Shah, BB, Aafia Siddiqui, Arfa Karim... and the list gows on, are not only respected but loved as pride of the nation. My question is, why isn't there any controversy surrounding Arfa Karim and why the Malala' case, from the very first day was shrouded with mystery? I ask writer, is this generalisation any different than the opinion of rest of the lot, that the writer has apparently suggested to be judgemental - jumping to conclusions. Isn't it also a reactionary approach?
What is Malala services to Pakistan - NIL, she is now collobrating with Pakistani enemy, and she is debt to Pakistan, her father job created in Pak consulate, housing allowance, medical, and now Oxford education these all are on Pakistani expenses. S.Obaid is just working for her film, she unnecessary given her pretage on twit and get terminated Dr job, Mahir is actor, her charactor is to work in film no benefit for Pakistan poor nation, Dawn should not give importancy these matter.
Over-generalization much in this article on what all Pakistanis do?
@champ you are a woman hater/ So Chinoy should not bring out the reality of the savagery that goes on in Pakistan? For the supposed 'honor' of people like you - she should not tell the truth? Realy? I feel she is the best thing that happened to Pakistan to challenge the low level thinking of the males in your country- you being a shining example of the same.
it's true, it's true. All those mentioned are evil!
A nation with so much potential and untapped talent is wasting time and energy on uncontrollable issues - personal choices. Step away and focus on yourself and what you can be and what you can do.
@Sana see video interview of the woman who played title role in sharmeen's first documentary movie on acid attack on girls. Your perspective may change.